About NH Dating

NH Dating is a members-only Discord server for adults in New Hampshire who want to date, find a relationship, or meet new people near them. It's for people all over the state, from Manchester, Nashua and Concord to Portsmouth, Dover, Rochester, Keene, Laconia, Lebanon, the Lakes Region, the Seacoast and the North Country, plus people just over the border.

Dating apps reduce people to photos and a quick swipe. Here you get to know people the way you would in real life: by talking. Everyone is in shared chat rooms with people who are looking for someone like them. You see how someone talks, what they find funny and how they treat others before deciding you'd like to know them better.

Every member is reviewed by a person and has their age checked against a photo ID, so you know the people you're talking to are real adults.

One giant chat room for everyone would be chaotic, and most people in it wouldn't be looking for you. So the server is split into groups of channels, and you only see the groups that fit you. Your application decides which ones, based on three things:

• Your gender (man or woman), and whether you're cis or transgender.
• Who you're interested in: men, women, or both.
• Whether you only want to date cis people, or whether it doesn't matter to you.

There are six groups:

Each kind of channel comes in two versions. The cis version is for cis people who want cis partners. The open version is for people who don't mind whether someone is cis or trans, and it's where trans members meet people who are open to dating them.

If you're cis and it doesn't matter to you, you get both versions. That means more people to talk to and less waiting. Trans members are always placed in the open channels, because the cis channels are only for cis members. There is no option to look only for trans partners.

Femboys (cis men who mostly prefer a feminine style) and tomgirls (cis women who mostly prefer a masculine style) count as their own gender. They can still dress like anyone else some of the time. It shows on their profile and as a role, so people know.

In channels where men are looking for women and women are looking for men, the numbers matter. If a room fills up with one side, the conversation stops working for everyone. So these channels are kept one to one: a new man gets a seat when a woman is waiting for one too, and the other way around.

When there isn't a seat for you yet, you wait in a queue for your side. The bot lets you know as soon as a seat opens. Your place is first come, first served, and you can check it in Discord with /queue status.

Same-gender channels don't need a balance, so gay and lesbian members get in as soon as their ID is checked. Bisexual members get their same-gender channels right away and wait in the queue for the men and women channels.

Seats in the men and women channels are limited by the one to one balance, so they should go to people who are actually talking. If you go a full day without sending a message in a queued channel, your seat goes to the next person in line and the bot sends you a message about it.

You aren't removed from the server and nothing else changes. Run /queue join when you're ready and you go back in line. Your same-gender channels are never taken away for being quiet.

Everyone fills out a profile when they apply, but nobody can browse profiles. Yours stays hidden until you and someone else both decide you like each other.

When that happens, one of you runs /match in Discord and the other person accepts. Once you're matched, you can see each other's profiles on this site, and you choose how to keep talking:

• A private channel in the server. Only the two of you and the staff can see it. Staff don't read along for fun; it's there so there's a record if something goes wrong.
• Discord direct messages. The bot introduces you and you take it from there.

Either of you can end a match at any time with /unmatch.

Everyone must be 18 or older. After you're accepted, you join the server with access to only one area: a private channel that only you and the verification team can see. You show a photo ID there, and a person compares the photo and date of birth with you and your application.

We don't store your ID. We never save a copy, write down your ID number or keep your address. As soon as you're checked, the bot deletes the whole channel, including your photo. The only things kept are that you passed and when. See the Privacy Policy for details.

The server is still in active development and on a waitlist, but we're accepting applications now.